Why does good things always have to end?

It is the end of Chinese New Year holiday. Tomorrow is a working day again. It is so tru that everything good or bad has to come to an end . Why is it when we enjoy the time, it seems to fly by but when we do not enjoy the time it seems like eternity?

For the past week I have been sleeping late and waking up late. I have no idea how I am going to be able to pull myself up at 5am tomorrow morning. Why do we have to spend so much of our entire life working? Is this the only way to life?

I've recently read a book titled 'How to be sick' by Tony. I forgot her full name but she wrote about how she was infected by an unknown virus and was chroniclly fatigue and having flu symptoms. Despite that she continued working. She describes in her book how she overcome many obstacles using the Buddhist teaching.She also talked about how the sick have to work despite being so sick due to financial problems and how she was lucky because she was already a grandmother when she fell sick so family burden was not a big problem to her. She also had a very supportive husband that was always there for her.In her book she also mentioned that at first when she got sick she always ask 'wy me?' but as she realised after being sick for a while, she said 'why not me?' because she had so many people that cared for her.

As I read her book, I came to realise that my situation is worse than hers. I was diagnosed with cancer when I was still studying, with no insurance, affected my eyesight in the 3rd cycle, and now going blind and losing my job. Its hard to get any help because I barely have started working and my eyesight is already deteriorated to a stage that cannot be reversed.But in the end I am no one to judge who is more unlucky or suffered more. I guess I just find it very difficult to adjust to the life of losing my eyesight. Maybe I need more time...My mom always tell me that the world is coming to an end in 2012 but I told her my world has already ended the day I was diagnosed with cancer.

Enhanced senses

My current vision is a blind right eye and a left eye that can only see movements. Yes, its a struggle everyday but I am coping quite well except perhaps my skills in walking with the white cane or walking with a person.I may be losing my vision, but I realise that my hearing increases and my smelling too!. Increase in hearing is good but increased smelling can be a torture sometimes (especially when you walk into the toilet),
Because I no longer can recognise a person by looking at them, its quite a struggle. Now that I am working, I need to at least recognise my bosses!So far I have no problem recognising my bosses, I do it two ways,
1) Their perfume smell
2) The way they walk (if she wears the same heels everyday because every heals makes different sounds and every person walks differently)
Ok, there is another secret way
that I am quite embarass to tell...its by the person body odour (BO) Yes i mean BO!. I am however not really good in recognising the way people sounds when they talk because not many people approach me and talk to me. I think people thinks I am weird just because I am visually impaired. But of course I recognise voices of those people who are close to me such as my family and close friends .
Its not a surprised that doctors nowadays laccks compassion. I remember going to check my eyes in the hospital and the eye doctor just said 'you can't work, you can't be a pharmacist'.The other day when I was going home from work, my mom and I pass by the eye doctor. Of course I can't see him, but my mom saw. She said the doctor was so bad because he didd not even bother to walk to me and ask how was I. Actually not only doctors have no compassion, even people in our society has no compassion. One early morning, I was walking with my mom in the hospital when she told me to wait at a place because she wants to help a old woman walking with her walking sticks to find a place to sit.While she was helping the old woman, I stood there with my white cane wondering if anyone would ask me if I needed any help. I was there for about half a minute, I heard many people passed by, but nobody offered me help.Like what my mom said 'if the knife does not cut yur flesh, you won't feel the pain'.

This week I've learnt how to do allocation and verification of prescription on the computer.However I was having problem navigating because the hospital computer system was not really compatible with my software. I can verify but when I want to check the clinical notes to see if the particular patient has renal failure, I was unable to accessed it.I can do allocating on the computer too, but it takes longer than a person with vision, because they can click where they want, but i have to find my way there with the keyboard. It is definately slower , but at least it is possible. Anyway, I have given up. I am just so tired of struggling to get people to understand how visually impaired people work. I can't fulfill my pre-registered pharmacist (PRP) requirements, so I have decided to let go.It was a difficult decision, but I think its the best thing for me.