Am I really 'luckier'???

Just had my checkups in UMMC yesterday. My CD34 went down again :(... Still have to be on prophylaxis antiviral...White blood cells are still low...My haematologist said I was 'luckier' than most of the other suffering from the same form of cancer as I do (non-hodgkin's lymphoma) because most of them suffered from relapse again and had to go for further chemotherapy and later stem cell transplant. I was thinking in my heart, I would rather have a relapse than to suffer from the side effects that has rendered me blind in the right eye and visually impaired in the left...Am I really 'luckier'..its hard to say...